How Are You?
Cause honestly I'm hanging on by a thread.
Let me be the first to say that I’m not okay.
It’s been close to a month since I’ve posted something on here. I wanted to share something meaningful, insightful or thought-provoking, but in all honesty I’ve been struggling to find the right words.
Some days I’m hopeful things can turn around in this country and the next day I’m crying myself to sleep feeling terrified of what’s going to happen next.
Some days I feel so inspired to write and speak my truth on the internet (LOL) and other times I just dissociate via doom-scrolling and binging Netflix.
Some days I have all the motivation to take on the world and my to-do list. Other days I can barely feed myself and completely neglect my personal hygiene.
Some days I’m the most playful, present and patient parent to my toddlers. Other days I rely on screens to keep my kids entertained because I feel physically and emotionally drained.
Some days I remember to ground myself and take things one day at a time. Other days I’m trapped in my thoughts of despair and hopelessness.
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The point being is that I’m on what feels like a never-ending emotional roller coaster. But I think it’s safe to say that I’m not alone in these feelings. If you’re in the same boat as me I just want you to know that it’s okay. This shit is hard. I can’t and won’t say that everything is going to be okay because I don’t know if I actually believe that. What I can say, however, is that we have to keep going.
We have to keep showing up when we are able because it’s all we’ve got at this point.
We have to survive so we can come out on the other side of this thing we are going through as a collective — no matter how broken or wounded we might be at the end of it all.
Fuck thriving. It’s okay if we only have the capacity to simply survive. We can and we will. One day at a time. One breath at a time. One tear at a time. One laugh at a time. We will keep surviving until we can thrive again. Not at the expense of others, but as a collective. I don’t know when or how that will happen, but I have to believe it because hope is the only thing that can keep me going at this point.
With love and solidarity,
Amber
I could’ve written this myself. You’re not alone. The only thing that makes me feel hopeful is how many other people feel this way. I go back and forth between feeling guilty for not reading the news for a while and realizing that I need to do that in order to survive. I saw a quote that said, “Rest is not retreat, rest is preparation.” I repeat that to myself when I feel like I’m being selfish for protecting my peace.
I’m also working on ways to build a more equitable life and society. I think we’re about to see a big change in the way we build community and look out for each other because we’re realizing that the government does not have our best interests in mind.
Hang in there 💕
stop feeling.
start doing.
do something fucking witchy.
www.crimethinc.org